An Unexpected Lesson in Humility

Sometime last winter I came across Jonathan Harris' Today project. Since that time, I have been enjoying his photos and stories—passing several of them on to friends. Then, in the post dated August 27, 2010 (what follows will make more sense if you read that first), he made a few remarks that really bothered me.

They bothered me not only because I felt they were inaccurate statements about my chosen faith, but also because my spiritual life has become an area I've spent a lot of time diving into this past year and as such, they cut deep.

I was angered by his assuming that these people were "brainwashed into thinking the point of this life is just to prepare for the life that comes next." Yes, they may believe that "there's a better home awaiting in the sky," but that doesn't mean that they believe that the point of this life was to just wait for God to bring them home to it.

I was irritated that he saw Christianity as a marvelous tool for keeping people tame and under control. Yes, there are some Christians who choose to live tame lives. And yes, there are some leaders who claim the Christian faith as their own and use it to try to keep people under control. Just because of those two things though, it doesn't mean that all Christians act like this or abuse the faith in this way.

As I analyzed my frustration more, I came around to seeing that what bothered me the most about his entire post is that he had so quickly judged these people without talking to a single, solitary one of them. Had he talked to them and in that process, saw that they believed what they did simply because that's what some pastor told them to believe and that they lived dull, fruitless lives because of it, well, I couldn't have been upset with him for stating what he did.

But he didn't. Rather than talk to the people who had just given him goosebumps and nearly brought him to tears so that he could understand why they were so jubilant in their singing, he merely tried to look into their eyes so he could judge them without the bias of their actual personal stories getting in the way.

Then I sat with this anger and frustrtion for several days. As I considered this more and more, I realized that I am just as guilty of the things that I was upset with Jonathan for in a different way.

We do this exact same thing in marketing and advertising, quarter after quarter, year after year.

We send out surveys asking people to answer questions they never even think to think about on their own. Then we use this data to justify the decisions we're making to the higher-ups contolling the marketing purse strings and to make ourselves believe we understand how people think about and buy our products and services.

We spend an hour or two in focus group facilities across a few cities with people who buy our products or services and from those brief moments (which are out of these people's natural environments and real lives), we make judgements on what all people who fit their demographic and psychographic profiles are like so that we can create communications and applications and "utilities" that "connect" with them.

As this realization took hold, I lost my steam for being upset with Jonathan and instead, I felt humbled.

By experiencing the frustration and anger of someone making broad, overly presumptive statements about my faith, I was able to see how wrong it has been of me to do these types of things at times in my past about the people I'm supposed to be representing within the agency and to the client.

Now, rather than being angry, I'm thankful for Jonathan's post—and I pray that I remember this the next time I begin to do them again.

Comments

[Lisa Grimm]

This is lovely and accounts for my high opinion and respect of/for you. This very nicely articulates humanity in all its glory. While judgment and opinions are natural and God given things, it's often so simple to look at them through our own lens instead of challenging ourselves to search beyond what's in our immediate reference point. When humans get in front of or start putting their own imprint on anything pure, it will (potentially) lose its purity. This applies to everything. Humanity is imperfect and no matter what higher power (religion or faith) we believe in, the act of practicing to attain said 'salvation' is a lifetime errand. We will fall down and never attain that perfection, but by practicing and evolving faith, we'll get closer:-) Your post reminds me what happens when we're maintaining whatever daily reprieve we have and the rewards that come from it. Being 'connected' spiritually allows us to do so much. In this case, the ability to take a step back, process the situation, take responsibility for your reaction and assess accordingly. That's grown up and awesome stuff that I think a lot of us struggle with on any given day because it's easier to live in judgment and anger (although not really). We'd all be better off if we all were conscious of humility. It's my prayer for myself most days... that I be of service, learn from those around me and never start thinking that I have all the answers. In essence: that I remain teachable:-) Thanks for the thought-provoking and honest post. Hopefully this rant makes sense:-) Happy Sunday, Paul.

[Josh Chambers]

Damn. So good, Paul. Thanks.

[BenAS]

Great post. I am impressed in the way that you chose to carefully consider your response, and work through your reaction to the post rather than to simply go with your initial anger.

However, at some point we must make a judgement, we need to make an assumption and then act. Categorising people using demo-graphics in order to make a decision has value, as does using our intuition.

I suppose it is about making a judgement without being judgemental?

[Matt Nelson]

Thank you Paul.

[Katie]

Mighty nice post. Since everyone has discussed the meaty parts, I thought I'd share my experience with focus groups where folks are asked about issues that impact their lives, rather than products that impact their lives. When you ask people about transportation, food, health, faith, among other things, you'll often see people light up...thrilled that somebody is finally taking the time to hear what they think about some of the most important things they face in their lives.

And the focus groups where people actually share what THEY think are the most important issues...those are the most fun of all.

Yes, judgments are made after those focus groups too, of course. But I usually find joy in figuring out how to communicate about an issue in a way that could change peoples lives for the better (greater access to food, less frustrating commutes, a healthcare system that actually works, etc.), if the public dialogue actually shifts.